What to Expect in Couples Counseling
The Real, the Relational, and the Road Ahead
So you’re thinking about couples therapy—maybe you’re hopeful, maybe you’re nervous, maybe both (maybe you’re just exhausted). Whatever brought you here, let’s talk about what to expect, both in terms of logistics and the honest-to-goodness work ahead.
Who I Am & How I Work
First, a little about me: I’m a Licensed Professional Counselor, certified in Integrative Mental Health and trained in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT, Level 1). I believe that what actually heals in therapy is not just the tools or homework sheets—it’s the ability to see yourself and each other honestly, and the willingness to get curious about what’s really driving your patterns.
I bring a blend of compassion and challenge in our sessions. My job is to ask questions that get beneath the surface, spot the patterns and dynamics keeping you stuck, and help you see the places where your story might be looping on repeat. I’m deeply curious about you and your relationship, and I’ll show up ready to do real work with you—no judgment, just honesty.
First Things First: How We’ll Begin
When we start working together, each of you will meet with me one-on-one for a full session. This isn’t about gathering ammunition for future arguments (no secret files here); it’s a chance for you to share your personal story, your experience of the relationship, and what you hope will shift or heal. You get to speak your piece, in your own words, without having to edit yourself for your partner’s sake.
My Role: Not a Referee, Not a Judge
Couples therapy isn’t about me taking sides, naming winners and losers, or tallying up the points. I’m not on your side or your side—I’m on the side of the relationship itself. My job is to help you both see the system you’ve built together (the good, the bad, the “how did we end up here?”), and to support you as you reshape it into something more nourishing.
I’ll help you see patterns and possibilities, but it’s up to you to develop insight and, most importantly, to try out new ways of relating outside of our sessions. Real change doesn’t happen on the therapy couch—it happens in the messy, ordinary moments of your daily life.
The Practical Stuff: Paperwork, Insurance, and Time Commitment
You’ll receive paperwork through Simple Practice before we begin—please fill it out before our first session. You’ll also notice that I don’t accept insurance for couples work. That’s because insurance companies require a mental health diagnosis, and most don’t cover couples therapy at all. I believe your relationship deserves care, even if no one here has a clinical diagnosis.
Let’s also be honest: couples counseling is a commitment. On average, couples wait six years after problems start before reaching out for help (Gottman Institute, if you want to know). That means the issues you’re bringing are often deeply rooted, and they take time to untangle. Most couples need more than a handful of sessions—think months, not weeks. Change moves at the speed of trust, and trust doesn’t sprint.
Who Isn’t a Good Fit?
If there is ongoing abuse—physical, emotional, or otherwise—couples therapy is not appropriate or safe. My office is a place for honesty and repair, but safety must come first. If you’re unsure what this means for you, reach out and I’ll help you find the right resources.
A Final Word
Couples therapy is work. It asks for courage, patience, and a willingness to see yourself and your partner in a new light. You may not get immediate results. Sometimes things get harder before they get easier. But if you’re ready to put in the effort (even the uncomfortable bits), your relationship can absolutely change.
If you have questions or want to see if we might be a good fit, don’t hesitate to reach out. I’d be honored to walk alongside you as you figure out your next chapter—together.
